Nerd in the Brain

Joined 10 years ago

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Posts by Nerd in the Brain

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  steve2 - Thank you again. You are voicing some of my very same thoughts. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman.

  breakfast of champions - I do understand all of the examples that you gave, and the concern for them. As those were not things that were part of my experience, I did not include them in my post. People seem to have the sense that I'm claiming there is no seedy underbelly to JWs...but I'm not making that claim at all. I fully admit that I don't know all there is to know (about JWs or any other religion on this planet). That doesn't mean I (or my family and friends) deserve to be attacked for presenting what I experienced. Many of the comments here have been thoughtful and reasonable and rational and given me much to discuss with the JWs in my life...many of them have been aggressive and harsh and hate-filled, and that has certainly gotten my defenses riled.

  Simon - Yessss! "She" is correct. I do believe that there's another side to the story. I don't argue that point at all. I'd be more surprised if there weren't another side to the story, honestly. What you said about good people sometimes being misled is definitely true (for all of us, I think), but defending people I care about against ugly stereotypes is a bit exhausting...I'm a bit taken aback at how several people here seem to think they know the people in my life better than I do and feel free to throw hateful things into comments. I have experienced far more nastiness here (not from you!) than I ever have from any experiences with JWs, but I still plan to discuss quite a lot of things that I've read here with my JW peeps. I'm very curious to hear their responses.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  breakfast of champions - Though I don't fully agree with it, your analogy makes sense to me. I think the thing that people are missing is that my blog is about my experiences as I've experienced them. I have never represented my blog as hard-hitting news, research-based, or even giving the full picture. It is my personal blog where I tell my personal experiences as I personally feel about them. It's not there to sway, preach to, convert, or challenge anyone. It is my thoughts on my experiences. There is not a single thing in that post that is untrue or inaccurate...that was my experience and those are my thoughts on the experience. I understand that the people on this site see a different side of the JW denomination. I don't dispute that it exists. I don't dispute that people have been hurt by it. I do dispute people insulting me, badmouthing my family, and accusing me of things. Honestly, I do not understand the reactions. It's not as if I'm telling people to go dashing to the nearest Kingdom Hall and drink the Kool Aid...I just did a post about what I observed when I went to a church that I was invited to by a friend...I just don't see how that deserves the animosity that it's receiving. (Edit: I feel like if people took even a few moments to look at other posts on the blog, they would quickly see that the conclusions they're jumping to about my person based on that post may be a bit askew.)

  As to my mother-in-law...it is interesting to me how people who do not know her in the slightest feel free to lay judgment and blame on her. I'm sure she does think that I'm in big trouble when the so-called Armageddon comes. If she believes that, she keeps it to herself. Religion isn't even something that gets discussed in our family very often, so it's not an issue in our day-to-day lives. And if she believes that horror will befall my soul, so be it. Here, on Earth, in this life, she has been nothing but a wonderful mother to my husband, a fantastic grandmother, and the best mother-in-law I could have ever hoped for. As an Atheist, I'm only concerned about here, on Earth, in this life, so that all works out for me.

  And I really did enjoy the music at the service...I thought it was lovely.

  And I have to ask...as I mentioned in another comment, I don't understand all of the "he"s and "him"s. I mean, I have nothing against the male gender, but I'm pretty sure I haven't spontaneously become male because of a blog post that got shared from nearly a year ago.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  steve2 - Thank you!

  Sabin - I do have room in my heart to understand hurt and pain and anger. I do not, however, have much room to understand being told that I should join up with pedophiles and horrible people because I have written a blog post about going to one meeting at a Kingdom Hall. That sort of behavior/reaction/injustice should not be tolerated or accepted. And, yes, it is an injustice. That sort of reaction and condemnation of people a person doesn't even know are the root of far more serious problems than an internet disagreement. That said, I sincerely hate it that bad things have happened her, and I do hope that she finds relief from her pain. And I will certainly ask about the October 2012 policies (along with several other things based on this conversation thread). Thank you for taking the time to mediate and educate!

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  Chris Hannover-

  Your analysis of the situation is astoundingly wrong...including your liberal use of "he." Since you've personally insulted me and my thought process, I do feel compelled to respond.

  A) I have not claimed to have any wisdom. Could you point me to a place where I claimed to have wisdom above and beyond other people? Relying on and citing my personal experience rather than immediately agreeing with people I don't actually know who are presenting unverifiable evidence isn't me "claiming wisdom."

  B) I have not claimed to be healthier than anyone. And what evidence do you have that I "feel nothing toward" and "learned nothing from" my experiences? Honestly, it seems as though, because what I feel and what I have learned are not what you wish I had learned, you're taking offense. Please do not pretend to have any insight into the feelings and growth of a person you do not know. It's presumptuous...and you're getting it quite wrong.

  C) What in the world are you talking about? "Fighting an abuser" and attacking someone on the internet for writing a blog post you don't agree with are two different things. "Fighting an abuser" and bashing a religion are two different things. "Fighting an abuser" and trying to convince me that people in my life that I care about are only nice to me because they're trying to convert me are two different things.

  D) I do not assume to know the "true nature" of any religion. Honestly, I find all religions to be sketchy and questionable. I, however, do not find all people, regardless of religion, to be sketchy and questionable. In "point A" you accuse me of not learning from my experiences, but here in "point D," citing my experiences is a problem. Curious.

  E) Again, you're making an awful lot of assumptions. Though I do believe that most people are both good and nice, I don't believe I've stated anywhere that the two words are synonymous.

  F) And again, when did I say that an angry person is wrong? I didn't. Being angry doesn't make a person wrong. Acting out of anger and lashing out at people who disagree with your opinions, though, is usually considered unfriendly and unwelcome behavior.

  G) You are making an awful lot of assumptions about my assumptions here. I don't even know how to respond to this because I have no idea where you got this idea from anything I said. I certainly do not believe that all beliefs and expressions of beliefs are good, valid, and of equal value. That would be nonsense. Terrorism is an "expression of belief." Surely you're not assuming that I think terrorism is an okey dokey thing to do?

  H) I'll admit it. I don't think I'll be "recruited." I'm very firm and open about my lack of religious beliefs. Is it impossible? No..not much is. Do I think my mother-in-law and mechanic are spending all of their waking moments scheming ways to recruit me? Nope, I don't.

  Childish? I'm not sure where you're getting that, but I'm also not sure how you drew most of your other conclusions.

  But, wait, I thought you weren't interested? (Okay, I totally admit that was childish.)

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  Okay, it has gotten to a point where I feel like the mission here is to convince me to dislike, mistrust, and generally condemn an entire group of people (including my mother-in-law???) based on their religion. That is simply not going to happen.

  I understand that people here have had painful experiences (as have members of just about every denomination), but I will not turn my back on people in my life who have shown me time and again that I'm loved (and, no, not just because I'm a potential convert...because they know that I'm not). And I will not stick around for a conversation that's goal seems to be to convince me that people I know and care about have some sneaky mission that is their only reason for being kind, caring, loving people. (For the record, my mother-in-law is very aware that we question her beliefs and her church...just as we question every church.)

  Will I be suspicious of JW doctrine and practice? Always. Just as I am suspicious of the rather zealous anti-JW doctrine I sense here.

  As I've said before, I do truly hope that everyone here finds peace...I mean that, but I will not be converted to JW-hatred any more than I'll be converted to the JW faith.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  Londo - I'm so sorry that you've had such tension with your family. Your experiences are making me wonder if, perhaps, JW groups from different areas act differently. My friend, I know, left the church for several years, and, upon returning, was easily accepted. Her leaving the church did not cause her family to be unkind to her.

  My mechanic is also a JW, and we've talked before about his brothers being Atheists. Though his siblings are not part of the church, he still spends time with them and loves being with them and their children (as do his parents). (Long story on how I even know that.)

  And, on a more personal note, my mother-in-law is a JW, but has never, ever shown my husband and me (both Atheist) anything but overwhelming love and kindness.

  I am so hoping that you and your parents find a way to reconcile. I wish there were some way I could make that happen for you.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  Londo,

  I am very aware of the time tracking. As I said in the post, my mother-in-law is a JW, so that is not a new concept to me. (I've seen the tracking forms and everything.)

  As for my friend, we have time that "counts" and time that doesn't. If we're doing Bible study (which I do from a purely academic point of view), it counts. When we're hanging out with our families playing games or going to a museum together or anything like that, it doesn't "count." She's not secretive or sneaky about the time tracking or why she does it.

  I understand that people are hurting, but I wish everyone could understand that we all have beliefs and ideals and ways of life that we feel passionately about...everyone wants to be "right" and defend their "rightness," but we can be kind, and we can be compassionate, and we can help one another, and that will go much further (I think) than belligerence and animosity and condescension toward people who don't see the world the same way we do.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  KateWild,

  No harm done, I promise. Bitter and angry occurs in some members of every group (religious and otherwise). I understand that every group of people is made up of a diverse crowd of mostly really nice people.

  I am sad to see so much suffering and sadness as there is on this site, but I am glad I've been made aware of this other side of the JW world...I'm always interested in a full picture.

  Thank you for your kindness!

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

  1. 
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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  To everyone else:

  There seem to be some misunderstandings about this blog post of mine that was shared here (without my knowledge until after the fact) by Bangalore, and I would like to clear them up.

  It seems that people are visiting this one post on my blog, getting agitated, and coming back here to say some unfriendly things.

  Perhaps if you poked around that blog a little bit more, you would understand that I blog about my experiences in life as they happen.

  I have no agenda, religious or otherwise (and certainly not pro or con JW).

  I have my own personal blog where I write about the things that happen to me, my thoughts, and things that interest me.

  But now I'm receiving email informing me that it's my "responsibility" to research the "other side" and present that, too.

  No, it's not. I am not a news source. I am not in any way representing myself as an expert on the issue. I am not telling people what they should or shouldn't believe. I did one post (in a sea of others that no one looked at before getting huffy) about one experience that *I* had. I did not encourage or discourage anyone to go forth and join anyone. As the post clearly states, I am an Atheist...I would think it would be obvious that I'm not trying to sway people toward any religion.

  You have given me much to discuss with my JW friend. (And, contrary to the email I received, yes, she is my friend.)

  I want to point out that I've been friends with the JW mentioned in the post for over a year now. In that time, I have spent many hours with her and her family and her other friends on a social level. In that time, I have received exactly zero nasty comments, harsh judgments, or unkind gestures from her or anyone I've met through her. I can't say the same about this site, and I've only known it existed for a handful of hours...that is pretty telling, I think.

  I wish happiness and peace for all of you, and, for those who celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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  50

  An Atheist Visits A Kingdom Hall

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  10 years ago

  http://nerdinthebrain.com/2015/01/25/why-i-spent-my-morning-in-a-kingdom-hall-partying-with-jehovahs-witnesses/.

  he seems to have quite a positive view of jw's.. bangalore.

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  10 years ago
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  Nerd in the Brain 10 years ago

  Label Licker,

  I would like to point out that *I* am not on an "EXjoho" site "promoting" my blog. As a person can clearly see, someone named Bangalore shared a link to my blog. I had no part in it and didn't even realize it had happened until I saw a link to this site on my blog stats.

  But you didn't see that. You jumped straight into fight mode and verbally attacked a person.

  You have said horrendous things (I should join in with the pedophiles???) to a very kind person that you know nothing about beyond reading one blog post (and, even then, you didn't pay enough attention to realize that I'm not even the person that posted it here)...and that says quite a bit about the person that *you* are.

  I am truly sorry for all of the anger and hurt you have inside, but attacking strangers will never soothe that.

  Additionally, you may want to consider reading the Community Guidelines of this site you're using. They are quite clear that the people here should "Be Nice."

  I do hope you find peace and happiness in your life, but I can't sit still while you attempt to spread your hate and anger on me.

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